Man is a social being. We interact and co-operate on a daily basis. This gives rise to various kinds of relations. The next phase is to maintain and develop the said relations, as it is important for our very survival. But how do we do it? Of course, there is no handy guide to help us manoeuvre the intricate web of relations. Nor can there be a golden rule to help us handle all relations. Each one is as unique as our fingerprints.

While I was pondering on this issue, I came across a mantra in a workshop called ‘Know your child’ by The Art of Living. I realized the implications of this mantra and then started applying it. The mantra is Fair, Firm and Fun.

Fair, Firm, and Fun are the three simple principles that I have adopted to maintain and develop relations. I use it with everybody. Below I have tried to explain how I have incorporated this in my workplace relations.

Fair  I consider everyone in my team equal. I involve and recognize everybody. After all, it’s an interdependent world. Take them along. Maybe the process is a bit stressful, but at the end of the day, you will learn a lot. “Two heads are better than one,” isn’t it?

Firm  Though we need to consider everyone equal, doesn’t mean we have to treat everyone in the same way. How to treat a person is understood, only after careful consideration of their behaviour, attitude, and interactions. Only after a thorough observation, will we be in a position to take a firm and fair decision on how to treat a person.  In an office environment, this plays a very important role, especially when in a leadership position. The following list sums up the various ways in which we treat people in our lives.

Sama – we need to treat everyone equally. Dana  we need to forgive. (Dana can mean to give also). Bedha – sometimes we need to differentiate people, so as to show them that you are not okay with them and get them back on track, Danda means to punish, (if required). How do you decide to which category your team member belongs to? That’s possible only after a careful observation. But we should not lose our cool, and need to be fair.

Fun – It doesn’t just mean cracking jokes around people, but also being lively and reliable. This helps everyone around us feel comfortable, and helps them take a moment to smile at the small things in life.

It is absolutely essential to be invisible on the floor, yet bond with them all the same.

The enlightened say, “What you experience from others is your own reflection.” 

So, what do you want to experience from them today? 


 This blog is written in collarbdoation with Mr. Navaneeth Shetty.


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